, ,

Some scientists are also excellent artists, poets and performers. I’m not one of them, but I do love a good limerick [1]. In honour of the blog’s first anniversary, here’s a few for you to enjoy.

Written by me:

If anhydrous your reaction must be,
Use only flame-dried glassware, Said he.
Run argon with care,
To keep out the air,
or FOOSH! There goes the BuLi!

The lit. reaction I thought was a gem
But in the supp, they haw and hem
The results were chaff;
They got less than half,
So they just said “B.R.S.M.”

Our research is vital, you’ll agree
To cure diseases, one, two, and three
You’ve heard this before,
But please, I implore,
Can we haz moar funding, mebbe?

There’s a scientist shortage, I heard
But the unemployed, they say that’s absurd!
Are things that bad,
For every new grad?
Just ask Chemjobber, the jobs wizard

The journals is trapped in a fog,
Without a post-peer review log,
Benefits I see
To pseudonymity
Chemistry blogging’s for dogs

Bruce Banner was feeling quite green,
As he mixed gamma rays with benzene
The flask fell with a crash,
The rest, a big smash
Chemistry Hulk was on the scene

Laura enjoyed her candidacy
Until she came to Professor Dundee
Who said with a glare,
How would you prepare,
The solvents ether, chloroform and t-Butyl-OMe?

One day I was surprised to see
A chemist, crouched on bended knee
My advice Mable,
Get on the table,
It still happens, periodically

There was a fewllow named Judd
Who thought Chemistry was in his blood
He felt quite able
To make the unstable
Hexanitro-amino—BOOM—Oh crud.

From the annals of history:

A woman in liquor production
Owns a still of exquisite construction.
The alcohol boils
Through magnetic coils.
She says that it’s “proof by induction.”

A dying mosquito exclaimed,
“A chemist has poisoned my brain!”
The cause of his sorrow
Was para-dichloro-

There was a chemist once from Lahore
But sadly the chemist’s no more
For what he moments ago
Said was just H2O
Was really H2SO4

There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he’s a college professor.

[1] If we’re being honest, I like most bad limericks too.